On Weight and Self-Worth

Sitting in my neighborhood bookstore and having to hear a very young girl, around 18 or 19, describe herself as "chunky" breaks my heart. It hurts to hear her say that to her group of friends, but it hurts even more that they only offered their friend more negative comments about their own bodies.

I'm not judging these girls. Because I know where those thoughts come from and just how hard it is to constantly work against them.

We all do it. We criticize our bodies and in turn diminish our self-worth. And I'm one of the biggest culprits. I'll stare at myself in the mirror looking for dimples and extra fat to pull and tug on, comparing my body now to the body I had in college or in high school, and wondering why I didn't realize how I awesome I looked back then.

For women, it's often a constant struggle to learn to love and accept their bodies. For a large part of our history women felt that their appearance and beauty ultimately determined their survival, and it did. All women were expected to marry, and you married based on how attractive and complacent you were. We live in a much different era now, but these ideals still cloud our judgement because they're constantly recycled and repackaged in ways that we often don't recognize. We only know that we should feel bad about our bodies, that we should always be looking for a way to improve our appearance because for women our appearance is important..

And it is important, but it should never be the sole determinant of your worth as a person. I bet that girl had a million other things should could have been focusing on -- work, academics, art, culture, but we allow our obsession with our appearance to cloud our brains and shadow our true potential.

But you're more than your body and you're more than your weight, so don't listen to society's mantra of thinness equaling happiness, because it doesn't.

I've had times in my life when I ate very little to stay thin, and while I looked great I was the unhappiest I'd ever been. So let so and so worry about getting her boobs done or skipping dessert, while you worry about putting in overtime on that big project. One worry will benefit you while the other won't.

Determine for yourself what looks good and don't let the images on a telescreeen dictate for you. And banish the little voice inside your head that tells you you're fat. Cuz you ain't, honey.

Love,
Kris