And she thinks she's the pink of perfection...

That's a line from a film called "Summer Magic" that I watched as a kid. When I was little and did a good job someone would always drop the word "perfect." 

I was a cute kid so adults constantly gave me attention for my looks, and then when I did something smart I got coded as "perfect." 

"She's so perfect," they'd say. 

"You're perfect," my mother would tell me. "Not my perfect Crissy," she'd utter if anyone ever spoke a word against me. 

"I love how perfect you are," said my husband and I was always afraid to let everyone down.

Because I'm not perfect, and for the first time in my life I'm not trying to be.

I used to think that if I acted as perfect as possible my life would be easier and everyone would love me. I thought if I always looked beautiful, excelled professionally, kept my house clean and baked elaborate desserts for everyone, I wouldn't have a care in the world. 

Well, as I'm sure you've guessed by now it didn't work out for me. I became a warden of my own thoughts and actions. Anything that didn't seem perfect was banished from my personality, and anyone in my life who wasn't trying to be perfect, I condemned. And really all I was doing was condemning myself, judging myself along the same strict standards as I did every person I met. 

I felt as though I had to be perfect or my friends and family wouldn't be able to brag about me anymore. I was desperate to keep up my persona and then one day I just broke -- cracked right down the middle. 

There was no hope left. I couldn't be saved and so I had to give up the battle for perfection. I had to stop counting every single calorie I put in to my body. I had to stop punishing myself for my own mistakes and short-comings because no one is perfect, and anyone who might be perfect is probably horribly boring. 

So my point is that you should always do your best, but who gives a fuck if your house isn't spotless. Who cares if a few cookies have some burnt edges -- you'll eat them anyway because they taste amazing. Imperfection is beautiful, it's unique. 

Don't turn in to a drone, and don't have a break down like I did. Love yourself and your friends and family because they aren't perfect and neither are you.

Love,

Kris