Do you know someone who's an atheist? If so, would you describe that person as immoral?
Well, I am an atheist and I'm about as moral as they come. Being a good person is important to me. I work hard to respect others and follow societal rules and guidelines. I am not a heretic or a troublemaker, nor am I trying to rid the world of religion. Just because I stopped believing in something doesn't mean I expect everyone else to also.
In fact, what I choose to believe isn't anyone's business, but as you can image religion comes up all the time. People talk about their faiths and their church activities, while I remain silent, stilted, in fear of being judged for not believing in what everyone else seems to believe. And I used to believe.
My mom raised me as a Christian, and I grew up believing that God existed. I prayed, went to Sunday school and read the bible as often as I could. Even then, I tried really hard to be a good person because it's important to me. Just because you stop believing in God, doesn't mean that you lose your morals. It also doesn't mean that you change who you are, well for me it did, but I changed for the better. You see, I used to be a bit obsessive about always doing the right thing. To the point where I would punish myself, condemn myself for behavior I deemed inappropriate.It's hard to image that there is someone, up above, watching and judging your every move. It wasn't good for my psyche, and since I've let go of religion, I've found myself being less judgmental of myself and others. I no longer punish myself over thoughts or feelings that are beyond my control.
So what made me give up on God?
Well, I don't see it as giving up on a belief in God, but rather taking on a new invested belief in myself and my own abilities. I've always been interested in religion, sociology in general; how people think, why we believe certain things and behave in certain ways. So naturally I was drawn to classes on religion and Greek mythology in college. Everything we studied show me what I feared most: That my belief in God was just that, merely a belief. There was no concrete evidence to support any religious stories, but despite all the information in front of me, I still chose to believe.
It wasn't until I graduated college, got my fist job and lots of awful things started happening. I was shortly laid off and my mental illness started to rear it's ugly head. I sought God; constantly praying, seeking his help and guidance. I waited years and never received any, and at a certain point I stopped waiting, stopped caring about this eternal being that had planned out my whole life for me. I decided to take matters into my own hands. Instead of praying for a desire outcome, I made my own
outcome. And I have never felt more empowered in my life.
So judge me all you want. I'm perfectly happy just the way I am.
Love,
Kris
